The Christmas Cry

Last Sunday, Suzanne, our parish priest and my dear friend, delivered a very eloquent and powerful sermon. She did so in her own quiet and unassuming way that only makes her words more sterling. She spoke of that seasonal phenomenon known as the cathartic "Christmas cry".
It hits most everyone with a beating heart this time of year, that moment when the lump in the throat bursts open and the tears flow. It comes from nostalgia or regret or longing, it comes from exhaustion or disappointment or the inescapable charm of baby angels in a Christmas pageant.
I personally have never made it through "In The Bleak Midwinter" or "Silent Night" without the waterworks blinding me. Whatever the human trigger for this letting go, it is apparent that we need the healing and cleansing wash of our soul that only tears can offer. Perhaps the very core of this response is the fact that God came down as a homeless baby and slept in a barn on that first night. There is nothing more human than that, dear friends.

It has been a difficult year. Friends have died...two by suicide. Money is very tight, work is very hard. Sometimes I feel lonely and tired and I sing the blues. But, on this twenty-third night in December in the year of 2008, as I sit here among these fifty-seven sleeping homeless children of God, I feel only the magic and love of Christmas. Like all barns, this stable has it's own very earthy stench. The men have removed their shoes and parked them beside the blankets on the floor. Their socks are ripe, their feet are pungent. In a few hours, I will awaken them and offer clean socks and soap and towels for the shower. Tomorrow, it will be Christmas Eve.
I will prepare the gift bags for Christmas morning and go to church. We will sing the old, familiar carols. At some point, I will most assuredly weep. I will weep for my lost friends. I will weep for these broken, homeless people who must struggle so hard on these brutal streets. And I will weep for the sheer wonder and beauty and mystery of this human life...and for the huge and terrible love I feel in my red and hankering heart.

Merry Christmas, world. You are so amazing!
Soli Deo Gloria!